Author: Dongjing
February 14th, another Valentine’s Day.
On this romantic day, we always send wishes, gifts, and heartfelt confessions to our loved ones.
But don’t forget, more importantly, to care for yourself.
Just as Jane Eyre said: “Love yourself, don’t generously give your whole heart, soul, and strength as a gift to others.”
This novel is the masterpiece of the writer Charlotte Brontë, published for over 170 years, still frequently appearing on major reading lists.
The protagonist Jane Eyre, a humble orphan girl, achieved a happy and fulfilling life with self-respect and self-love.
Rereading this book after the age of 40, I suddenly realized: loving yourself is the source of all energy.
1. Accepting yourself, withstand the external blows
Jane Eyre was orphaned at a young age and was adopted by Mrs. Reed, her aunt by marriage.
But life under her roof was not easy, as everyone saw her as a burden.
She was careful in everything she did, even eagerly helping the servants, only to receive endless scolding in return.
Besides the abuse, Mrs. Reed often ridiculed her, calling her a “sly and deceitful bad child.”
The servants also constantly told her: “If you were pretty and lovely, perhaps you would receive sympathy, but you are an ugly little thing, no one can like you.”
Despite being ostracized and suppressed by everyone for a long time, Jane never gave up on herself, but rather accepted herself wholeheartedly.
She knew very well that she hadn’t done anything wrong and wasn’t as bad as they said.
When the servants said she was unlikeable, she would respond, “I don’t like you either.”
When Mrs. Reed accused her of being good at lying, she would retort, “The one who lies is your daughter, not me.”
Once, after being injured by her cousin, Dr. Lloyd came to treat her.
From him, she learned about a boarding school specifically for orphans.
Despite everyone’s criticisms and rejections, Jane insisted on going to school.
In the end, she successfully secured admission, freeing herself from a dire situation.
In the tumultuous world, everyone encounters unjust bullying and malicious suppression.
People who don’t love themselves always take external evaluations as the standard for defining themselves.
They self-attack based on a few words from others, spinning in the whirlpool created by others, gradually draining their energy.
But those who truly love themselves never use others’ words to punish or torture themselves.
They remain awake and vigilant, aware of their true emotions, refusing to be led by others.
Because the world belongs to them, unrelated to others. Life doesn’t need validation, just self-realization.
Recognize your imperfections but also affirm your worth, rationally view every aspect of yourself.
Once you wholeheartedly accept all of yourself, no one can easily define or confine you.
2. Empower yourself, gain the confidence to stand tall
Jane entered school with expectations but found it completely different from what she imagined.
The environment was crude, resources scarce, and there were many strict rules and harsh punishments.
To make matters worse, Mrs. Reed deliberately spoke ill of her to the principal, leaving a bad impression.
When she made a small mistake, the principal made her stand in front of the whole class, calling her an ungrateful bad child.
Being humiliated in public greatly affected her, fearing that everyone would look down on her, she cried bitterly.
Seeing her distress, her classmate Helen and teacher Miss Temple came forward to comfort her.
She explained tearfully, “I’m innocent, but everyone will think I’m a bad person.”
They replied, “You prove what kind of person you are, and we will see you accordingly.”
With their encouragement, Jane gradually emerged from her low spirits.
She no longer tried to prove her innocence but instead spent a lot of time studying, learning, and thinking every day.
Within a few weeks, she was promoted with excellent grades and began studying higher-level courses.
In the following years, she studied hard, excelling in all subjects, even ranking first in the school.
Her classmates liked her, forming friendships with her; teachers approved of her, willing to teach her more knowledge.
Even the principal changed his opinion of her, hiring her as a teacher when she graduated.
F. Scott Fitzgerald said in “The Great Gatsby”: “The world doesn’t care about your self-esteem; the world will only see your accomplishments.”
When someone is weak, they won’t receive favorable treatment anywhere.
Misunderstood, no one will believe their explanations; bullied, no one will hesitate to intimidate them.
Respect from others and a sense of self-worth are built upon one’s own abilities.
So, those who truly love themselves know to hone their skills quietly, silently improve internally.
Your strength is the best response to malice and the confidence to stand in the world.
3. Please and prioritize yourself, attract equal appreciation
After teaching at school for two years, Jane was hired as a governess at a country estate.
The employer, Mr. Rochester, was hot-tempered and initially didn’t take her seriously, always bossing her around.
However, no matter how bad Mr. Rochester’s attitude was, Jane never bowed down.
When he gave orders, Jane calmly replied, “No one is born free and will willingly endure someone’s arrogance and rudeness.”
It was this self-assuredness that gave Jane a unique charm.
Mr. Rochester gradually began to accept and appreciate her, eventually becoming infatuated with her.
Jane also, after long companionship, developed feelings for the outwardly cold but inwardly warm Mr. Rochester.
But love didn’t cloud her judgment; she still considered pleasing herself a top priority.
When Mr. Rochester asked her to change her modest attire and wear jewelry and fancy clothes, she firmly refused, “Then I wouldn’t be Jane Eyre.”
Mr. Rochester also asked her to do nothing and accompany him on travels around the world, but she refused to give up her beloved teaching job.
Even with their differing status and unequal class, Jane refused to become a mere decoration or puppet for others.
Her refusal earned Mr. Rochester’s respect; he no longer forced her to do things she disliked.
Remembering the words of writer Hermann Hesse: “I know that life you described is nice, but I still want to be myself.“
No matter which direction a person faces, they will always turn their back on the other half of the world.
Even with repeated compromises and concessions, you cannot please everyone and may gradually lose yourself.
Rather than exerting effort to please others, stand firm in your position and live as you like.
Amidst the countless lights of the world, shine your light; whether or not anyone stops to admire, you have fulfilled yourself.
4. Treat yourself well, cultivate a peaceful mindset
Woody Allen said: “Life is full of surprises, and we never know what will happen next.”
Just as Jane was preparing to enter into marriage with Mr. Rochester, she suddenly learned a shocking truth:
He had been married for many years, and his wife suffered from mental illness, locked away in the attic of the estate.
Shocked, Jane couldn’t tolerate his deceit and left him overnight.
But she left in a hurry, leaving her belongings behind, wandering penniless.
Just when she was about to faint from hunger, she met the clergyman St. John and his two sisters.
The siblings, though not wealthy, generously
took her in, sharing food and shelter with her.
But her past pain tormented her, making it hard to sleep and eat, and her health grew weaker.
In St. John’s eyes, she looked like a frozen little bird, evoking involuntary concern.
St. John’s sisters tried their best to improve her diet and took her for walks.
Under their care, Jane began to adjust her lifestyle and take care of her body and mind.
She adopted a regular routine, waking up and eating on time every day, gradually regaining her strength.
She also tried to forget her sorrows, focusing on the present, and immersed herself in reading and learning.
Months later, she gained weight and her complexion improved, no longer as frail as before.
And when a person’s body becomes stronger, their inner self becomes more powerful too.
Whether it’s past heavy sorrows or current complex matters, nothing stirs ripples in her heart.
The so-called self-love is, first and foremost, learning to take care of one’s body and mind.
Only with a healthy body can one have the energy to deal with the complexities of the world and have the mental strength to overcome negativity.
Rest when tired, get proper rest when sick, and allow yourself to cry when sad.
Don’t neglect diet and sleep, nor waste energy on unworthy people and things.
Nurture your body and mind, and you will live more comfortably and happily.
5. Love yourself, the source of high energy
With St. John’s help, Jane got a job as a village teacher.
Most of the village children had never seen much of the world, were dull in nature, and slow to react.
But these children reminded Jane of her childhood, longing for love and attention but always hurt and neglected.
Fortunately, she had learned to love herself now, with enough energy to love others.
She patiently taught these children, trying her best to give them warmth and kindness.
Soon, the children improved academically and their behavior greatly improved.
Just as life was gradually becoming peaceful, Jane heard of a fire at Mr. Rochester’s estate.
Mr. Rochester rushed in to save his wife but was too late; he himself was severely injured, losing both eyes and an arm to the fire.
Jane saw Mr. Rochester’s kindness and responsibility and decided to return to him.
Everyone thought she was acting out of pity and foolishness, but in reality, she could sustain herself both materially and spiritually and didn’t have to compromise herself.
She became Mr. Rochester’s eyes and arm, leading him out of the darkness.
She also achieved her ideal of a happy marriage, spending the rest of her life with Mr. Rochester in mutual respect and love.
It was self-love that gave her enough energy to control her destiny, to manage gains and losses, to overcome setbacks.
Dale Carnegie once said: “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.“
Whenever, you must first love yourself enough to have the energy to nurture others.
Because how we treat ourselves determines how life treats us.
Once you adjust your relationship with yourself, your relationship with the world will also have a stable core.
You will be more confident, more grounded, and the surrounding magnetic field will operate orderly, constantly accumulating positive energy.
And a person with high energy, like the morning sun, warm and powerful, can not only take care of themselves but also have the energy to care for others.
6. Conclusion
French critic Fosdick once commented: “Jane Eyre is full of vigorous personality.”
Jane Eyre, like most ordinary people, had no superior background, outstanding talents, or extraordinary beauty.
But she never belittled herself, proudly living even in hardship, determined to love herself.
She accumulated energy through self-healing, gained promotion, and rewrote her originally tragic destiny.
Think about how long it’s been since you’ve had a good meal, a good night’s sleep, or enjoyed a relaxing vacation?
How long has it been since you gave yourself some alone time to listen to your true thoughts?
This Valentine’s Day, instead of waiting for others to love you, learn to cherish yourself.
Believe that you are the source of all abundance.
When you firmly support yourself, gather the energy of love, the world will naturally favor you.
Like and share, this Valentine’s Day, love yourself a little more, and life will love you more.
